One wouldn't believe how much can one chat for twenty minutes change him, his attitude and help him to find something he has lost long, long time ago. It was my self-respect and something I haven't seen. I grew up influented by my mom and I thought that if you like a girl, you should always show it, no matter how, if is just a small things or big things, she kept complaining about my dad, how he used to be selfish, thought just about himself and so on. Yeah, that was his image. And I realised that I am reflecting the same image to others as well, considering the statuses I post, the number of adverts on my stuff and so on. Some people love me, some people hate me and there is anything I can do about it, because that is just a part of my image and my presentation. And I realised I never showed the other part of me and that is the fact that I love people, in all fairness, I love women because I think they're really amaing and really good girls inside and the way they care about the guys is just so adorable! All they want in return is loyality and the feeling that they're the only one, otherwise they'll make a hell of your life. And well, yeah, I never gave that feeling to any girl I met. Because yeah, I'm selfish and I do think about me a lot, but that's just the ambition to be and mean something one day. To die and leave something behind. Some people really don't understand and I'm finding that the cost of ambition is really high. You are walking away missunderstood, you're walking away being threated like a mug, you're always doing your best, but it is not enough, you can also get blamed for the stuff you haven't done and that's it. You can take it, be quiet about it, don't show any emotions, just because it can't disturb the inner piece and the higher purpose, but on the other hand, honestly, I'm fucking done and I have fucking enough! Does anyone know that I always kept helping people out to live better life? I always used to give lifts to people if they needed even if I was busy! I always did my best if girl needed me, my help or anything else! I was loyal to girls till they started make me jealous and feel bad about myself, as soon as they started, I found another girl. All I need and want is to feel good and happy. Do you know that I helped my 1st assistant, let him to sleep in my room and slept on a sofa for almost three months? Do you know I had to sleep 1 month in a car because I got mugged off and blamed for shit I didn't cause? Do you know that at the moment I helped out my mate who wanted to come back to Swanley and prove he's the best?!
Do you know that we lifted up a guy with no roof over his head and helped him out to live a better life and do something about himself as well and he actually do all the best, lost his drug addiction and is living a better life?!! I mate ask me for a money I'd happily help! Do you know I donate kids every month with brain injuries for almost a year and half now? Do you know that I spent £500 to see a girl I care about? Just for 5 days? Do you know I am able to drive 1000 miles to see someone I care about and I don't look at money or the fact that I'm tired as a fuck? Money means nothing to me if people are involved! People over profits! Do you know that I spent £200 just to by her 151 white roses and make her happy on Valentine's day?
Do you know that if someone's showing me the loyality, I'm the best guy out there and I'd do everything to make girl happy, no matter what! Show respect - I will return. Know I work hard and appreciate me - I will do all I can to give you more. Do you know, how many girls I had to turn down? And I still do it on daily basis!
Do you know that I'm so popular and I was using my popularity to get girls until I found out my value and stopped? The all fingers of three human beings are still not enough to count my success. That was till 22 years of my age.
Do you know how many times I have been played, how many times I have been mugged off, yet all they were coming back to me because they kept telling me there's no one like me. However, would you stand for a girl what is trying to piss you off all the time instead of make you happy? Yeah, I used to talk to lots of girls, yeah, I used to make them happy all and they were the ones who had boyfriends, they were the ones who kept saying don't tell anything to anyone. I found out I have nothing to hide and why shoudl I be shy for that you all girls are just into me? It isn't my problem you all don't know, what do you actually want. And if someone would ask me, what I want? I just want someone who is sure that she loves me, who would say, this is my boyfriend. He's just amazing. If you're playing me, I'd obviously play you back. Unfortunately those days are gone and I'm so pissed inside that I just don't care anymore. Luckily in my life, there is and there always be plenty girls and as I used to say, I'm not the one who will ever lose something, because of who I am and how I look. And waht all made me to write this story? What all made me to get so upset? The girl I cared about the most told me that I created a fake accounts and kept texting her about someone she's with at the moment. The girl what is bragging everyone all her life. Including me. She wants me to believe stuff altough I met her and i know her so well that nothing works. So tell me why would someone, who walks down the street and girls are stopping the traffic to talk to him? Why someone who's walking pass the car and girls waving on him and he seen her just from work? These girls don't know me, they know me from my job or from outside or from gym. They don't know what all I do besides my work yet they're all into me. I'm getting so much attention every single day that it's unbelieavable. And what I kept doing? Making happy someone who clearly can't appreciate about me anything and doesn't see how much do I sacrifice from every day just because I always wanted to be unique. Few months ago I had choice to fuck 3 girls. My dream. I decided to spent the money on 151 white roses instead and do something what would make me unique. Range rover full of horny girls wanted to fuck me. I had to walk away.
A massive queue of drunk girls were screaming at me horny words. I had to shout so they calmed down. And I have the need to text someone some crap and sit behind my pc? Write shit about some mug from USA? Who's around 40 and goes for 20 years old? Fucking hell if that's true then you're all fucking gold-digging sluts and obviously I won't talk to someone like that ever again. One girl did this mistake and replaced me for a old man with child. I blocked her and deleted her off my life. And what she does? Asking about me? Waiting on me? Why would I come back if I know what you changed me for? Enjoy.
That is all I'd like to say... I'm done with you all and with playing all these fucking games. You can be only and only happy that I post just a pictures, not the messages you ever sent me. You all can be only happy that I have such a level that I don't want to mug you off publicly. Never piss off public person because when a public person will get upset, the amount of shit you'd have to take would make you go mad. I am used to take it. It is a part of me, part of my job, part of Beck Martin. However, you pissed me off and dragged me to an edge and I lost it. I won't name none of you. Just for pure fact and that is that I've got the level. Now, fuck off my life. I've had enough of all your drama, bullshit, lies.