Let's go get it!

Hey everyone who's still coming down here on my blog. I didn't write anything for quite a while, so let's fix it. I have decided that I'm going to stay away from social media for a little while as I am putting myself back together. I have been injured in work, pushing heavy machines. Guys, honestly, it pissed me off so much, even more, the fact that I can't exercise right now, I'm stuck with the indoor bike, running around hospitals, watching my muscle mass going, all of this because of a decision to change the gym layout around. There would be nothing wrong with it, but the fact that you're pushing the machines with a friend who's going to the gym for a few months, is 46 years old, just like your manager, who's a mother of children. You know, like, who's there to blame? Is it her for trying to please the bosses, or others for not looking into this properly? It's a breach of health and safety to allow someone to move the gym equipment without even being insured. Second thing, how can you don't do a risk assessment? Like how many kilograms should each one of us carry at max? None of those things was done. Because of that physical exhaustion, I suffered with on Saturday, because let's face it, my personal guess is that Leg Press is around half a tone. Simply because the whole weights are 200Kg and the rest of the machine is pretty massive. There's a seat; there's a platform, there's this massive construction. Even if it wouldn't be 500Kg, still it's going to be around 300Kg at least. As I pushed to the machine, I just ended up going on the floor. Since then, I have lost my hearing in the right ear, got tinnitus, which is like a frequency that's in your head because your nerves can't transport the sound properly, on the top painful neck vertebrae. It's getting worse as well, I have started getting dizzy, light-headed and when I tried to go for a run as I used to, I was in absolute agony. I had to stop after three rounds. Usually, I do eight around Loyds Park in Walthamstow. You know, to clean my head, connect with nature and so on. Now? I can dream on. On the other hand, I just think that everything wrong is for something good. I still remember how my manager was pressing me to do finish it all; we didn't leave until 4 PM that day. Truly exhausting. The best thing, on Monday, once I was completely fucked, but still kept going to work Phil arrives who's 6'8" with a machine that's got electric wheels, electric lift and pretty much he's moving with the equipment with absolutely no effort at all. I felt like a complete idiot and was upset about the whole situation, poor organisation, not even providing us with training how to move these machines safely, and on the top, not even enough staff! Nine boys were sitting upstairs in the manager room, where they shouldn't be, wondering why I haven't got my top on. I asked for help, all I've got were two girls. Bless them. How bad is that?

And that was it. Sunday was terrible, Monday even worst, Tuesday I was so fucked, but still went to work. Kyle and Maxine asked me if I'm okay, I said no, I'm not, explained the problem, they laughed it off, not realising how serious this is. I didn't know at the time either; I thought that I have two days off, I'll recover as I do, I'm strong. I was mistaken. It felt like I got hit by the truck. The fireworks in my head just drove me mad. I lost myself completely. I walked away from my girlfriend. I wanted to go to see my family. I had another accident on the way, and that was it.I didn't know what to do, because I never experienced anything like this before. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't do anything, even go to the shop, because every time someone spoke, it felt like my head is going to explode. And this has been ongoing for a quite while now, I still can't believe how long does it take to get MRI scan, why the Heaven do I have to be in this pain this long. Why I have to listen to that frequency? How long does the tinnitus last? They say it can be on for years, or forever. There's no cure for it. Okay, sounds promising. What next? Physiotherapy for my neck tried that, doesn't help either. What have I done? What happened? Anyway, I just had to let go of all those emotions, because as a manager, I would never allow this to happen to any of my staff. I think that White Oak management has failed to look after their employees, and mainly after their members. I never had to lie to a member before over piece of equipment that's health and safety issue, although it's been used for the past eight years and still worked fine. That's how bad it got. My members are my friends; they're all people that I spent quite a lot of time with and because of all of this, unable to see them all. Yeah, it all breaks my heart. I have spent 16hrs a day in that gym, seven days a week and never had a single problem. Everything was always running nicely. I could even do the management work myself. It was easy. Working with people was always easy as well since I'm friendly, open, positive, motivated, driven, passionate and always willing to learn new things. I've got a level 3 qualification, which was always my aim and I'm grateful that my fitness journey has been this good to me. It's been quite a lot of time since I stepped into the gym for the first time. I was 14. Now I'm 31. Seventeen long years and still my biggest love. The only friend that never lies and always pays - iron. It breaks my heart even more that I'm afraid to lift heavy weights just in case I destroy my neck vertebrae even more. The spine is a sensitive thing. The doctor said that if there's something pressing on my cord, I could start pissing myself and shitting myself. Well, that's promising future, isn't it? You see, all those words have an impact on you and literally, you're finding yourself running around doctors, hospitals and trying to put yourself back together and mainly, get compensation for this, because I had enough. Why should some people who are irresponsible for their own decisions be tolerated this behaviour? Why should Mr Friday Night go through all of this pain? When the only worry they've got is, when I'm back in work? Who cares that they could fuck me up for life? Who?

#BeckMartin #TheGym #WhiteOakLeisureCentre #Thankyou

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